To find out or not to find out?

With the 20 week scan less than a week away all talk from friends and family has turned into whether it's a boy or a girl and I'm really beginning to regret saying that we were intending to find out.

In today's society it is the norm to find out your baby's sex and something I'd always said I wanted to do. In truth I'm a little bit of a control freak and the idea of not being able to plan puts me out of my comfort zone. I'm desperate to start thinking about the nursery, buying little outfits and thinking more seriously about the name but with so many strongly voiced opinions from friends and family, I now just feel an overwhelming urge to protect little muffin from disappointment.

As one of three girls and with a sports mad father I had initially been hoping that I could at last be the one to provide him the boy he'd always yearned for. So you can imagine my shock when the other week he told me that actually after witnessing a little boy's tantrum in a nice restaurant we was actually hoping I would be carrying a girl. This hope of a girl has also been voiced by little sister, who announced she would freak out if I was having a boy as she wouldn't know what to do with it, and very very very frequently by my in-laws who already have a grandson/ nephew/ son in the family and want to go shopping for girls things. As no one has expressed any desire for a boy I am now under no illusions that a little boy is exactly what I'm having.

For me and my husband we honestly couldn't care less what we're having so long as they're healthy. In fact our attention is more focused on what the anomaly and true purpose of the next scan is, which is to find out if he/she is developing well. Then if everything is ok finding out the sex, whatever it may be, will just be a lovely bonus. And I know deep down that whether it's a boy or a girl little muffin will be spoilt and loved to little bits by everyone, I just can't bear the idea that they would be in anyway a disappointment.

And for those of you out there who do have the patience and ability to wait, I salute you.