Being a Mother with Cancer

Today for the first time, we're going to be sharing with you a guest blog from the wonderfully strong and brave Heather Von St. James. She asked us very kindly if we'd be willing to share with you her story to help raise awareness of this devastating disease: 

Whenever people hear my seven-year-old daughter talk about my cancer, she has always has the funniest yet true things to say. For one, she likes to tell people, "I saved my mommy's life." It's a matter of fact for her, something so true that she knows it to her core, and so do I. While many people find it hard to really understand how a child can save an adult's life, she really did save mine and people only realize it after I tell them my story.

My husband Cameron and I wanted to make our marriage a priority. For seven years, we didn't even think about having kids, but finally, I was ready. I wanted to be a mother. There was something about having a baby that I couldn't get out of my head. It took us a little while but three pregnancy tests later, I was so incredibly happy to be a new mommy. I kept wondering about all of the things in the future that were now to come. What was she going to look like? What kind of mother was I going to be? It was months of questions for me while I was pregnant, but it was relatively smooth sailing. Delivery was a bit more difficult. Lily was a breech baby, which meant that I needed an emergency C-section. While it was surprising, we made it through wonderfully. I was holding her in my arms afterwards, just staring into her bright eyes and realizing that I didn't care if I was a cool mom or not. I just had to be a good mom.

That was the happiest moment of my life. It wasn't long after her birth that I started to feel strange. I was tired all the time and losing a lot of weight each week. I went in for some tests because I just didn't feel right. We were finally called back three and a half months later. My husband went with me, and we sat there, the doctor told us that I had malignant pleural mesothelioma. It was the ultimate blow. I had never experienced such an utter fall into emotional peril. How did I have cancer? It was true though. Not only did I have cancer, but I only had 15 months to live if I didn't get treatment. We chose to see a mesothelioma specialist from Boston. He was supposed to be the best with a high success rate.
After that, life was a whirlwind. I first went into major surgery to remove my lung, parts of my heart lining, chest lining and parts of diaphragm. I thought I was supposed to be spending this time with my new baby, but instead I was in and out of the hospital. I spent 18 days in the hospital recovering after the big surgery. I didn't have much time to spend as a mother, and it was all I could think about. Lily was my hope, my bright spot, the thing that I reached out for and thought of when times were most dark. As much as my husband gave to me, I saw myself getting better because I had to for my baby girl. She needed her mother for much longer. Every day that we were apart I thought of her and drew strength from the thought of holding her.

My journey with mesothelioma was difficult. Most people don't survive when diagnosed with the same type of cancer, but I did. I honestly believe that it was because I was able to have strength and continue to fight to be with Lily. I went through so much to be with her. I faced a hard surgery, chemotherapy and radiation, but I was strong because of Lily. She had come just at the right time in my life.

There were other people who helped us during this rough period. My husband was an amazing rock and the person who was always there when I needed someone to lean on. My parents were extremely helpful. I stayed in their home in South Dakota with Lily for a time before going back for chemotherapy and radiation. There were also friends, family and even people we didn't know who reached out and helped us. I didn't know that I had such a big family, but there were so many who just wanted to see me get better and have the family that I had wished for so long ago. It seemed like a lifetime during that year, but I faced those challenges and am happy to report that I am cancer-free today. I'll never forget what it felt like to be a new mother and that kind of happiness stuck with me throughout the ordeal.